Lauren wants sentence 4 to more accurately convey the thesis. Which of the following could best replace the sentence?
This essay will be about ahow Dell is a very well-known individual who is known for his computer corporation.
Even though Dell is from Texas, he has experienced success nationwide which makes him well-known
As a legend, Dell is known throughout the world because he is a modern-day legend who loves computers
Because is his ingenuity and determination, Dell became an inspirational model for success among the computer industry
Sentences 18 and 19 are choppy and ineffective. What is the best way to revise these sentences?
After deciding to quit school in May of 1985, the Dell Computer Corporation was formed
After deciding to quit school, he formed the Dell Computer Corporation in May of 1985
The Dell Computer Corporation was formed in May 1985 because Dell decided to quit school
In May 1985, the Dell Computer Corporation was formed after school was quit by Dell.
Sentence 20 is a vague. Which of of the following best replaces "a lot of good things" to improve the sentence?
an economic crisis
a disappointing future
an unstable achievement
Lauren wants to strengthen paragraph 6 (lines 23-26
) by adding specific details. Which could be added after sentence 25?
Dell wanted to emphasize on strong customer support and cheap prices
The Dell Computer Corporation took many years to reach success
By the year 2000, Dell Computer had recorded $25 billion in sales
Dell's company eventually earned a lot of money
Roberto wants to increase the intensity in the introduction. Which could be the BEST way to rewrite sentence 5?
The blood that the patient is losing needs to be replaced as soon as possible
The patient is losing a massive amount of blood and is in desperate need of a transfusion
The anxious doctor realizes that a blood transfusion is needed when he notices the blood loss
You may know someone who has needed a blood transfusion in the past
What change, if any, should be made in sentence 16?
Add a COMMA after the word PROVIDE
Change "information" to "Information"
Add a PERIOD after PROVIDE
No change is needed
Sentences 9-11 reveal-
the urgency of the blood donations
the speaker's interest in past events
why the speaker likes to donate
the consequences of people donating
In sentence 1, "The patient is crashing" represents-
how sleepy the patient is
the speaker's emotions on donating
the topic sentence or thesis
the patient's fate after a accident
How do you feel about the exam tomorrow?
What does the "A" represent?
Add topic and concluding sentence
Add sentences and words
Add unneeded details
Add whatever you want
What does the "R" mean-
Remove the concluding sentence
Remove your topic sentence
Remove details from your sentence
Remove unneeded words or sentences
What does the "M" mean-
Move unneeded words around in a sentence
Move a sentence or word
Move your thesis and hook to another paragraph
M does not stand for anything significant
What does the "S" mean-
Substitute words or sentences
Substitute your text evidence for other claims
Substitute your hook
Substitute your topic sentence
What does point of view mean?
The speaker's emotions
The author's main idea of a story
The viewpoint a speaker or author has on a topic/subject
Point of view is the concluding sentence of the story