“If America doesn’t send weapons to the Syrian rebels, they won’t be able to defend themselves against their warring dictator. They’ll lose their civil war, and that dictator will oppress them, and the Soviets will consequently carve out a sphere of influence that spreads across the entire Middle East.”

“Smoking pot is against the law because it’s wrong; I know it’s wrong because it is against the law.”

“Some people vote without seriously weighing the merits of the candidate.”

“This internet news site said that the candidate punches babies. We know that’s true because it’s on the internet.”

“I’m halfway done with college. This is so tough, and it’s not nearly as fun as I thought it would be, but I don’t know. I guess I’ll finish it and get my degree.”

“All people from Crete are liars”