A post on Facebook complaining how useless Facebook is.

She’s as skinny as a toothpick.

A traffic cop gets his license suspended because of unpaid parking tickets.

A man who needs medical assistance is run over by the ambulance.

My hand hurts so much it’s going to drop off.

A child runs away from someone throwing a water balloon at him and falls into the pool.

A man works hard for many years to save for retirement; on his last day of work he is given a lottery ticket worth millions.

A husband realizes it's his wife's birthday and rushes to make dinner reservations, only to find that she has forgotten what day it is and stayed at work late.

When I was young, I had to walk 15 miles to school, uphill, in the snow.

That joke is so old, the last time I heard it I was riding a dinosaur.

I ate so much on Thanksgiving, I weigh more than a whale.